Asalamualaikum wr. wb.
Lamanya tak tulis.. perhatian teralih kepada benda2 lain. I thought this site is the last thing to have a look at. But no, now I need to talk to myself. At least myself.
Alhamdulillah for everything. Although many changes happened to me, I am relieved that Allah allows me to live until this time. I am sorry for myself for not being able to be what I wanted to be. But I am relieved. I am allowed to still be alive. That explains everything and erases my worries.
I am not sure whether I am really living a life. I simply don’t care of talking, describing things, telling stories, or giving opinions to just anything. This is of course not new. When it comes to telling and describing, I just don’t know how to do it. Do I not have opinions?
No I do have. But I don’t care about what’s going to happen. If talking makes things change, I will do it. But, yeah maybe, life did not teach me that. Yes that what life seems to have taught me until now.
But I have to at least talk to myself.
Please change. Please.
Telling in any kind of ways isn’t my ‘style’ at all. I do not know how far this trend of mine will benefit me though. But when I talk/tell, that’s simply not me.
It seems like I will never tell you my stories. I have wonderful stories though. Amazing ones. But what really is it when I can’t really ‘appreciate’ them? No one will answer. Have I given up living, to put it clear?
I’ve got to go through all these.