running away

Assalamualaikum wr. wb.

 

Sakit perut ni. Nak tunggu lama sikit sampai rasa betul2 nak masuk tandas. Hehe. Tulis kejap.

Last time, me and my friends were talking about ‘depression’. Sorang kawan ni bagitahu signs of depressions, salah satunya; selalu bosan in doing any new habits. Kalau mula buat sesuatu yang baru, tak lama lagi dia akan berhenti buat benda tu. Hmm and she said some other signs, which I don’t find anything strange. Those are me in specific. I told them about that. Diorang tengok saya dengan pandangan ‘professional’. Yeah I believe so. ‘Professional’.

One of my friends told me that she was once very depressed and even sought help from a jordanian psychiatrist. I don’t find it strange too, knowing this. Because kawan saya ni sangat ‘sama’ dengan saya in many things. Seriously I would have thought that she once had been experiencing stress and depression too. Heh. Whatever.

Isn’t it too normal nowadays to be depressed? Though I’m not trying to feel ‘normal’. But yes, most people seem to be depressed and act in stressed ways. They are. Just like diabetes. It is a disease that nobody finds it really dangerous. I think it’s true. Things are shifting somewhere. They really are. Depression is not something new. They accept it and are living that way. I am one of them.

But nevertheless, semua orang are trying to live a life. A very difficult life. That’s why it’s sometimes unavoidable to ‘run away’ and see how others are living. Like what we are just now, ‘running away’ from our hometown and it’s surroundings. Learning what life really is, in a harsh way. But still, we have managed to carry on.

Lepas dah penat lari2 ni, berlari finally doesn’t become benda yang terbaik untuk dibuat, buat masa ni. I think I have to become an adult. Tapi no! I am not prepared. I don’t want to be one of those. But bila dah sampai umur macam ni, there are those people who are waiting for something from us. Some people are waiting, consciously or not. And running away isn’t a solution anymore. Not anymore. Not anymore.

I have yet to think again what I have just written. I can’t disagree with what I’m thinking.

I have always thought to win and not losing my pride. But being someone who is becoming an adult, things that happen will define me anyway. Trying is something we have now to do bravely. We have to shape things carefully because it will be hard to shape carefully later on. And I have yet to think what I have just written.

Before it becomes more complicated, I better stop now. Though I don’t feel like going to toilet yet. ;P

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