Aaaaahhh… I think I got a twisted personality!!!!!! How could I be so cheerful when I’m originally very introverted and reserved???? I feel like I’m getting into troubles……

—–

This is the second day of the ‘induction’ seminars for us dental officers. Only Allah knows but I’m 90% sure I’ll have to go to Sabah for work.

When the guy asked everybody “Who actively plays sports here?”, I raised my hands spontaneously and I was the only one raising hand. I was chosen right away but later regretted it and became scared. But I already lead an aerobic exercise. It was this morning and my friend said it was ‘daring’. I’m not sure what that does mean and I don’t want think what has passed.

And another thing is I realize that I’m becoming a shy but a cheerful person when it comes to interaction with people. What a joke. I hate this. I hate this because this reminds me that I’m not like this in front of my family members. What a joke.

The night before I could not sleep thinking about what’s happening to myself. Is this another change???? How could I be so foolish.

—–

Who am I?

Why do I suddenly contradict myself?

What’s going on?

Maybe I’m just doing my best?

Maybe I was just trying to do things in their best way?

 

Do I enjoy this contradiction?

Not really

Why?

 

Being responsible is just tiring

 

..

Yes, it is because of reponsibilities

Or maybe, responsibilities that involve people I don’t know

 

 

Maybe that’s the answer

So you’re not changing, okay?

 

….

But

which one is better?

The contradiction or the original one?

Well, maybe one of them

 

….

Thinking about ‘what’s better’

won’t bring me anywhere

 

….

Just be where you are

Just act what you should

Allah will choose what’s best.

 

It’s Allah’s planning

So let this makes your trust in Him stronger.

 

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